Surfacing then

Ask my mum what will happen to me.. I ask her if it has grown and my mum said that it had grown and i MAY NEED to go for the operation.. I dont want to! I’m going to be disfigured.. I’m feeling pretty sad and pretty down at the moment. Damn demoralised and most of all lost.. Two more weeks to my next appointment at the hospital. And by then, i may have to make a decision to whether i want to go for it or not..

The doctor tried telling me that they have the best surgeons around so i need not worry. He’s just saying that to make me feel better.

I think i need a plastic surgery after the operation.. Its not going to a small surgery like the previous two i had.. And i guess it will take a long time to recover too..This makes me almost want to cry. Why did this happen to me? I just hope it wont grow anymore.. I want it to go away. Just go away and dissappear.. I dont want to go for the operation.. Just dont grow anymore! Stop it.. I’m being a real paranoid now.. I’ve been going to the mirror almost every hour to check if it has grown an inch! I feel so troubled.. In fear..

This was the size of the ulcer TWO MONTHS AGO before i went for the first operation.

After the first operation at a private clinic, the ulcer was gone! And things were going on pretty fine. Until.. I had to go for another one because it grew again. The second operation was at SGH. It went on well too. But it grew again. Slightly smaller.

Now, i have to wait and see if it stops growing. Hopefully it will subside so that i dont need anymore operation!

Ok, shall wait for my next appointment with the doctor to see if it is cancerous.

Keep your heels on

Went DXO today with the usual company.. Its been quite some time since I went clubbing.. I LOVE going to DXO on Friday nights because there’s live band! Totally love it! The band that was playing is from the Philippines and they sing really well too! Especially love it when they sing Bring Me To Life by Evanescense. Zac was like singing along to the song.. Oh boy, You should have seen his face! Full of enthusiasm man.. haha.. And we were all singing along to Bon Jovi’s It’s My Life. Was like shouting: “It’s my life, it’s now or never.. I aint gonna live forever!” It was so damn fun! You guys should go down too.. On every Friday nights.. Plus it’s ladies night with free flow of drink.. Hula hula..

Only drank coke and fruit punch throughout the night.. haha.. And yet I can get so active.. Well, guess what? Maggie broke her heels! Haha.. Maybe because she shake her booty too much till the heels of her shoe came off. It was funny lah.. By the way, it was Friday the 13th.. haha.. I had so much fun lah.. Planning to go clubbing again.. Soon.. Cant wait.. haha..

Met Terence too.. He was alone sitting at the bar drinking.. Gosh.. Havent seen him in awhile.. Well, he’s still looking great.. Hmm.. :)

After Maggie, Xue Wei and Joyce went off, I was left with the guys.. We sat around until the place closed.. Was feeling damn hungry.. So we head on down to McDonalds to have our breakfast.. I was damn shagged lah.. Damn tired.. And damn sleepy..The guys were like telling their secondary school experiences and it were all funny. At least, their jokes kept me half awake.. But when they went to order the food, I immediately entered into dreamland while waiting for them. Was still sleeping when they came back.. And was eating with my eyes closed.. But, it wasn’t for long.. Until a big, fat and ugly lizard came out from nowhere. I was so damn shocked that I screamed and turn around to Lian Hui.. Lian Hui accidently spilled coffee onto his shirt and some were on Zac too.. haha.. After that, my eyes were so wide awake.. Thanks to big fat ugly lizard..

After breakfast, I head on home while the guys wanted to watch sunrise.. haha.. I wonder how they can be so energetic when I already feel like dying.. What the heck?

Bagged that

Went to school with Maggie.. Hadnt buy a soft case for the laptop yet.. So, had to use the FREE Fujitsu bag that was given.. The bag looks freaking big and fugly.. Plus its so damn heavy.. It gets more frustrating when we were in school to get our laptops configured.. There were helpers around but none helped us with the configuration because they were busily helping other people.. Felt like a bimbo trying to find out what’s the problem with the settings. Keep prompting ERROR.. Eventually, there was this guy who helped us out.. Should have helped us in the beginning OR should have helped us SINCE yesterday. Then i wouldnt have to come back trying to figure it out, right?

After school, had my eye test.. Usually, i would buy coloured lens.. But this time round, i bought the normal lens.. Its so clear that i couldnt see where it is when i soak it with the solution. Hmm.. I think i’ll get used to it soon.

After the eye test, went Bugis. We sat at Starbucks while waiting for Lian Hui and Zac. After the guys came, we went shopping. While both of us girls went to try on clothes, the guys stood outside the shop to help us carry our heavy laptop bags.. haha.. It was funny.. You should have seen the “bored” look on their faces..

After getting a pair of jeans, we head down to Sim Lim to get soft case for our laptop.. By the time, everyone was hungry!Had dinner at a coffeeshop. Maggie and I had mee soto. The mee soto taste so damn great but it was spicy. I almost burned my tounge and tears were rolling down my cheeks while I was eating it.. Even my stomach felt hot. It couldn’t stand the spice that I tried finishing up my food by gobbling up my food without even chewing it.. Eventually, I still feel hungry.. Because I didn’t get to chew and enjoy the food.. Hmmph!

Well, here comes the saddest part of the day.. When we reached home, went to check our classes.. Maggie and I are going to different classes.. Sad lah.. We didn’t go for orientation and we don’t even know anyone from our class.. I find it damn sad lah.. Not motivated to go school anymore..